Sunday, February 27, 2011

Another week down!

Ok, so technically my first week was 2/12/11 and that was when I weighed 217. On 2/19/11 I weighed in at 215. So this was my third weigh in. I weighed in at 214. I was a little disappointed at first. I was hoping for at least 2lbs. I mean I worked really, really hard this past week. In fact, I added up my workouts and they totaled 10 hours!! But as the day went on I got over it. I know that slow and steady means I will have a better chance of keeping it off. There is just something for me mentally when the scale says 200 something. I have this road block. I think that it won't come off. I just get stuck. When I see 100 something I feel like I can do it. I feel like it is possible for me to get the weight off. I am just going to keep pushing through. I have done it once, I know I can do it again.

This week I am going to start Bob Harper's 4 week workout program. It goes along with his new DVD series "Inside Out Method". There is a total of 4 DVDs. I only have 3, so I plan on incorporating his KettleBell DVDs in on the days I am supposed to use the DVD I don't have. At some point, I will get the 4th dvd, but for now I am just sticking with the three. I did take my measurements. I am going to take them again at the end of week 4. I will continue to follow the Weight Watcher program and weigh in weekly. I have done all the dvds so I know how difficult they are. I am hoping for some great results.

I admit I was upset with my measurements. I worked so hard the first time and to be back at the beginning is hard mentally. I know it was for a good reason. I love Carson so much. And he was very much wanted. I just didn't think it would be this hard on me to see my body after having another baby. So once again I am going to keep pushing. I know how great it feels so I am going to keep that in my mind! Below are the measurements.

Neck: 14
Chest: 44
Rib Cage: 43
Waist: 46
Hips: 51
Right Arm: 15
Right Arm flexed: 15
Left Arm: 15
Left Arm flexed: 14.5
Right Thigh: 28
Left Thigh 28.5
Right Calf: 17.5
Left Calf: 17

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Faith

My faith is a huge part of my journey. I look to God for the strength to get me through the tough times. Throughout the entire infertility process, I prayed daily asking for the strength to get me through it all. I was disappointed when I would find out a friend was pregnant. I mean I was happy for them, but would wonder why not me?

I pray for the strength to help me stay motivated. I know that God can help me stay strong and focused. For without him, I wouldn't be able to do anything. I know that he has a plan, it might not be my exact plan, but he has one and I need to be patient and trust in him.

So find someone that gives you strength. If not God, then a friend. Someone to help you stay focused on working toward your goals.

Infertility

I mentioned in a previous post about our battle with infertility. I was diagnosed with PCOS. We found this out when we were trying to concieve baby #2. You can't cure PCOS, but there are things you can do to help better your chances at concieving. One big thing is too lose weight. Try and get as close as possible to a healthy weight. This was a main motivator for me the first time I lost the weight. I wanted Alex to have a sibling so bad.

When the clomid wasn't working, we decided to take a break. I needed to concentrate on something else. I was concentrating so hard and wanting another baby so bad it wasn't fun anymore. I was too focused and stressed. So I turned my attention to weight loss. Once the weight came off, we tried clomid again. Again, it didn't work. I was starting to get frustrated again. Then we had someone come speak at a MOMS Club meeting about acupuncture. I had heard before about acupuncture and infertility before. It just seemed so odd to me. So I didn't look into it.

After listening to the speaker and talking one on one. We decided to give it a try. I mean what would it hurt to go for the free consultation. So I went and thus began our journey with acupuncture. After much discussion with my husband, we decided this was the best route for us. Yes, the whole idea of having needles stuck in me and some how this was going to help me get pregnant seemed WEIRD! Financially, this was a better way to go for us. It wasn't going to be cheap, but the western medicine wasn't working. I was set up with a 9 month treatment plan. In this 9 months, we would get my body back on track and hopefully get pregnant. (TMI WARNING!!) In the first few months, I noticed a change in my periods. Not only were they coming more regular, they were mimicking a more natural period. And my ovulation charts were starting to have a definite peak. (Those of you that don't know about charts, this means I was actually showing a ovulation period.) Not only was I having changes in my period, other body aliments were getting better. My knee and heal pain were diminishing. And overall, I was feeling like I had more energy and sleeping better.

After 3 full months of acupuncture treatments, we found out I was pregnant. We didn't expect it to happen this fast, but we were THRILLED!! I continued with acupuncture throughout the entire pregnancy and afterwards to help with recovery. Let me just say, this pregnancy was a breeze. I had energy enough to workout and very little morning sickness. So little I wouldn't of even considered it at all. Even my recovery from the c-section went smoother and faster. I attribute all this to the excercise I did and going for regular acupuncutre treatments throughout the whole pregnancy.

We are considering having another child. But FIRST, I want to get the weight off and back into shape. I know this will help with the process of concieving and also having a smoother pregnancy. I plan on continuing acupuncture treatments monthly. I feel better when I go and I also want to keep my body on track. If we do all this now maybe trying for baby #3 won't be so difficult.

So if you are having problems concieving, look into acupuncture. You never know, it just might work for you!

Things that keep me motivated!

I need visual reminders to keep me motivated. My weight chart is one, but I also hang pictures throughout the house to help me. I always take a before picture along with my measurements. My measurements I will post once I take them. I have to find the tape measure.

This time around, I am lucky enough to have pictures of myself looking the way I want to. So seeing those pictures helps me work even harder to get back there. I also have pictures of my husband and sons hanging up. If I don't work hard and take care of myself, I won't be here to live a full life with them.

Here are some of the pictures that keep me going!


May 2009. I felt so beautiful!





Taken at my brother's wedding May 2009.



Not a great picture, but man I LOVE those skinny jeans! .




One of the 5ks I ran in.

I placed 2nd in my age division.


Alex, my little goofball!



The three men in my life!





Sweet Baby Carson.


I LOVE these two!




Tricks that worked for me!

As I mentioned in the first post, I did take medication to help with the weight loss. Yes, I feel like it gave me the boost that I needed, but I know it wasn't just the medication. I worked HARD! I would work out anywhere from 1 to 2 hours a day 5 to 6 days a week. I did a combination of strength training and cardio. I also watched what I ate. I would count my calories daily. If it went into my mouth it was written down.

Throughout my journey, I sat with two separate nutritionist. Both gave me some great advice to help me through it all. Currently, I am combining what they taught me along with Weight Watchers online. It is a great way for me to keep track of what I am eating. I haven't decided if I like it or not, but I am giving it a try. One key point for me, was to make sure I am eating small frequent meals to keep my metabolism burning. I am also making sure to eat more protein. I wasn't eating nearly enough.

Along with the proper eating, I am exercising. I am back to working out 5 to 6 days a week. My goal is to get a good hour in on those days. With the new baby sometimes it can be difficult, but I am making it a priority. If I don't, then I will fail them as a mother. I need to make sure I am healthy so that I can be the best mother I can. If that means my alarm is going off at 4 AM. Then that is what I have to do. I need to carve out "me" time sometime during a course of 24 hours. I know us moms have a hard time doing that. But if you give yourself that time, you will be doing the best possible thing you can for your children.

I weigh in weekly. I created an excel worksheet with the weeks across the top and weights down the side. Every week when I weigh in (usually Saturday morning), I go and color in the sheet with my current weight. The goal is to have the bars slowly stair stepping down. This sheets hangs on my fridge. That way I see it ALL the time. And if I am hungry and go to the fridge, it reminds me to ask myself am I really hungry. It is also out in the open for anyone to see when they come over. And I want that chart to be showing success.

Downstairs in my workout area, I hang monthly blank calendars. Everyday that I workout I write what I have done. When I was doing my training programs for running, this allowed me to keep track of my times. I was able to see what I had accomplished. I also used www.mapmyrun.com . There is just something about seeing all the hard work that you put in that keeps you going. I even did this throughout my pregnancy with Carson. I wasn't working out hard, but I was walking and doing a prenatal pilates video. It just shows me that I can do the workouts.

I am a HUGE fan of the show "The Biggest Loser". There is just something about watching those people work so hard and see the results that they do. Yes, I know the weight loss isn't practical for a person that is not at the ranch. I believe it was Jillian that I saw on Oprah once that said "We know it isn't possible for someone at home to work out 6 to 8 hours a day. We just ask for an hour a day." So that is what I strive for. In my basement, I have an ellipitcal, treadmill, and spin bike. Along with NUMEROUS workout DVDS. I believe I own every Biggest Loser DVD made. (Did I mention I was a HUGE fan!) So my workouts are based around any one of those DVDS or exercise machines.

I am one that usually has to have a program to follow. It just keeps me on track. When I first lost the weight, I would do Jillian Michaels "Boost your Metabolism" and "No More Trouble Zones" along with my training runs. I would alternate the videos and do whatever run I was supposed to do that day. In the beginning, I did overdo it. I ended up with chrondomalcia of the knees. Basically, it is an overuse problem. I had to back off the exercise a little bit (mainly the running) and let my body heal. Let me tell you, that was TOUGH!! I hated to stop for fear of not losing the weight.

This time around I am planning on using Bob Harpers new dvd series "Inside out Method". If you go to his website www.mytrainerbob.com you can find the DVDS. He also has a 4 week program that goes along with them. I plan on doing that program once I have all of the workouts. I currently have two of them. So for now I am just alternating the two and doing some form of cardio on one of my exercise machines. Let me tell you, those workouts are TOUGH!! You will see results if you follow those DVDS and watch your eating. I haven't decided if I want to get back into the running again. For now, I just want to focus on getting the weight off. When the time comes, I might do the running again. I always had a great feeling of satisfaction after completing a training program and a race.

I would like to get back on the medication, just for that extra boost. I am not sure if my doctor will allow it, but we will see. There is just something about having the energy to push through a 2 hour hard workout that makes me feel good. I like the feeling of sweating through my clothes and having it run down my face. I know I have worked hard.

I have just started using a kettlebell and LOVE it!! I have picked up a few dvds (again Bob Harper) and have enjoyed using them. I feel like they are giving me a great workout. They just add that bit of resistance to push you a little harder.

My husband and I have talked about joining the local YMCA. You might wonder why I would want to do that when I have all this stuff at home. And sometimes I think the same thing. However, it would be nice to go to some different classes and be around other people. The pool is an added bonus too. There is free childcare there too. So I know while I am there my boys can be watched and I can get a good workout in. (No excuses not to get it in if they are being cared for!) Maybe we will do that when Carson gets older.

So find something that works for you and stick with it. Don't be afraid to try something new. You never know you might like it!

The constant battle.

If you have stumbled across this blog, welcome. I am starting this as a way to journal, hold myself accountable, and hopefully inspire someone else. A little bit about me. I am a 29 year old, wife and stay at home mom of 2 wonderful boys. Lou and I were married October 2004. Our first son, Alex, was born 9/2005 and Carson joined our family 1/2011. To add to the mix of the house we have a golden retriever mix dog named Jack. Before Alex was born I worked as a case manager for a mental health hospital. My main focus was working with children. I decided I wanted to stay home after Alex was born.

Lets start from the beginning. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I have always been heavier. I can remember having to shop in the little girls plus size section. It bothered me sometimes, but not all the time. I was somewhat active in school, but I would never of considered myself an athlete.  I pretty much had to do all my shopping in the plus size sections.

Then I went to college and put on more weight. After my freshman year, I used that summer to focus on losing weight. And I did lose. My lowest weight was 189. I went back to school and maintained the weight loss for awhile. My sophomore year I met my husband. I started to lose focus on staying healthy. In the next few years I managed to gain the 40lbs back. I was disappointed in myself, but didn't let it show. I graduated college the summer of 2004 and married Lou in October 2004.

After getting married I wanted to have kids right away. I have always wanted to be a mom. We found out in 1/2005 that we were pregnant. We were so excited. Now mind you at this point I was weighing between 220 and 230. My pregnancy was picture perfect  except for the weight gain. By the time I went in for my last doctor appointment (on my due date) I was tipping the scales at 273. I couldn't believe it. They sent me to the hospital that day to start my induction. Three long days later, Alex arrived via c-section at 9:02 pm. I vowed that before we would have another baby I wanted to be 170 pounds.  I always wanted children close together. I promised my husband we would wait a year. Surely, in a year I could get down to 170. Well that year came and went and I was only at 210. I decided that I didn't want to wait until 170, that seemed so far off. So we started to try and have another baby. We thought it would happen fast because it did with Alex.

After a year of trying, I went for my annual doctor appointment and told them what was going on. We decided to run some blood work and see what was going on. Come to find out, I have PCOS. Which means I don't always ovulate. And if you don't ovulate you can't become pregnant. Your weight is also affected by PCOS. We continued to try to have another baby. Throughout the next 3 years, we went through fertlity testing and even tried the fertility medicine Clomid. Nothing was happening. Through all this my weight was staying between 206 and 215. I was working out off and on throughout this whole time, but nothing regular. I also wasn't watching  what I was eating. I knew that the big problem was my weight. I had to lose the weight if I was going to become pregnant.

My sister went on a weight loss medication and had great success. She was taking the medicine and working out. I wasn't real thrilled about her being medication at first, but I think some of that was jealousy because she was losing so much weight. After another failed round of clomid, I needed to take a break. I went back on the birth control pill and started the same medication my sister was taking. It was time I focused on myself and started taking care of me. This was March 2009. My brother was getting married May 2009 so I was determined to feel better about myself by then. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and when ordering the dress I had to order the largest size they had available. Talk about being disappointed. This medicine was great. I had so much energy. I was able to work out for 2 hours a day. Plus it helped me control my constant urge to want to eat. By the time the wedding came along, I weighed 173 pounds!! That is 100 pounds from my highest weight ever. (Yes, I know I was 9 months pregnant, but I still weighed 273!) I felt more beautiful at their wedding then I did at my own. I got all the way down to 160. I know for some that stills seems like a lot, but for me I was THRILLED!! I don't even think I weighed that in junior high.

Once I reached 160, we decided to start trying to have a baby again. We tried clomid for a few months and no results. All in all, we tried clomid for 8 months. While all this was going on I was able to maintain the weight loss within a 10lb range. I maintained the loss for over a year. The longest I have ever gone. I was exercising regularly and running. In fact, I did a half-marathon training. I completed the training December 2009 I ran 13 miles on my treadmill at home. I was so proud of myself. More on what I did to lose the weight in another post.

We found out in May 2010 that we were expecting!! In fact, it was the Tuesday after Mother's Day. I couldn't of asked for a better present. I was so excited to be pregnant, but terrified about the weight gain. I worked out the entire pregnancy. I walked and did pilates. I still managed to gain 52 pounds!! I was so upset about that. This pregnancy was even better than my first. And I know it was because I was so active. Finally, in January 2011 we welcomed Carson to our family.

That brings us to today and why I am doing this. I am back at the beginning. And I need the motivation and accountabilty to get the weight off. So I figured if I wrote down my thoughts and frustrations it would help. If I put myself out there, I will want to succeed even more. I don't want to fail. I have been cleared by my doctor to get back into working out. So let the journey begin! (And I promise, not all my posts will be this long!)

Taken on day 1. 217lbs

There always has to be a starting point.