Lets start from the beginning. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I have always been heavier. I can remember having to shop in the little girls plus size section. It bothered me sometimes, but not all the time. I was somewhat active in school, but I would never of considered myself an athlete. I pretty much had to do all my shopping in the plus size sections.
Then I went to college and put on more weight. After my freshman year, I used that summer to focus on losing weight. And I did lose. My lowest weight was 189. I went back to school and maintained the weight loss for awhile. My sophomore year I met my husband. I started to lose focus on staying healthy. In the next few years I managed to gain the 40lbs back. I was disappointed in myself, but didn't let it show. I graduated college the summer of 2004 and married Lou in October 2004.
After getting married I wanted to have kids right away. I have always wanted to be a mom. We found out in 1/2005 that we were pregnant. We were so excited. Now mind you at this point I was weighing between 220 and 230. My pregnancy was picture perfect except for the weight gain. By the time I went in for my last doctor appointment (on my due date) I was tipping the scales at 273. I couldn't believe it. They sent me to the hospital that day to start my induction. Three long days later, Alex arrived via c-section at 9:02 pm. I vowed that before we would have another baby I wanted to be 170 pounds. I always wanted children close together. I promised my husband we would wait a year. Surely, in a year I could get down to 170. Well that year came and went and I was only at 210. I decided that I didn't want to wait until 170, that seemed so far off. So we started to try and have another baby. We thought it would happen fast because it did with Alex.
After a year of trying, I went for my annual doctor appointment and told them what was going on. We decided to run some blood work and see what was going on. Come to find out, I have PCOS. Which means I don't always ovulate. And if you don't ovulate you can't become pregnant. Your weight is also affected by PCOS. We continued to try to have another baby. Throughout the next 3 years, we went through fertlity testing and even tried the fertility medicine Clomid. Nothing was happening. Through all this my weight was staying between 206 and 215. I was working out off and on throughout this whole time, but nothing regular. I also wasn't watching what I was eating. I knew that the big problem was my weight. I had to lose the weight if I was going to become pregnant.
My sister went on a weight loss medication and had great success. She was taking the medicine and working out. I wasn't real thrilled about her being medication at first, but I think some of that was jealousy because she was losing so much weight. After another failed round of clomid, I needed to take a break. I went back on the birth control pill and started the same medication my sister was taking. It was time I focused on myself and started taking care of me. This was March 2009. My brother was getting married May 2009 so I was determined to feel better about myself by then. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and when ordering the dress I had to order the largest size they had available. Talk about being disappointed. This medicine was great. I had so much energy. I was able to work out for 2 hours a day. Plus it helped me control my constant urge to want to eat. By the time the wedding came along, I weighed 173 pounds!! That is 100 pounds from my highest weight ever. (Yes, I know I was 9 months pregnant, but I still weighed 273!) I felt more beautiful at their wedding then I did at my own. I got all the way down to 160. I know for some that stills seems like a lot, but for me I was THRILLED!! I don't even think I weighed that in junior high.
Once I reached 160, we decided to start trying to have a baby again. We tried clomid for a few months and no results. All in all, we tried clomid for 8 months. While all this was going on I was able to maintain the weight loss within a 10lb range. I maintained the loss for over a year. The longest I have ever gone. I was exercising regularly and running. In fact, I did a half-marathon training. I completed the training December 2009 I ran 13 miles on my treadmill at home. I was so proud of myself. More on what I did to lose the weight in another post.
We found out in May 2010 that we were expecting!! In fact, it was the Tuesday after Mother's Day. I couldn't of asked for a better present. I was so excited to be pregnant, but terrified about the weight gain. I worked out the entire pregnancy. I walked and did pilates. I still managed to gain 52 pounds!! I was so upset about that. This pregnancy was even better than my first. And I know it was because I was so active. Finally, in January 2011 we welcomed Carson to our family.
That brings us to today and why I am doing this. I am back at the beginning. And I need the motivation and accountabilty to get the weight off. So I figured if I wrote down my thoughts and frustrations it would help. If I put myself out there, I will want to succeed even more. I don't want to fail. I have been cleared by my doctor to get back into working out. So let the journey begin! (And I promise, not all my posts will be this long!)
Taken on day 1. 217lbs
There always has to be a starting point.
No comments:
Post a Comment